Day 28- They were right...

How many times have I been sad and lonely and wishing that I could just find "The One?" How many times have I wished that I could be back with someone who I thought was "The One" just because I didn't want to be alone... just because being alone was scary.

Not long ago... just a little more than 28 days ago actually... I decided I was done with men. I was tired of being wanted for only one thing. I was tired of my high expectations being met with less-than-acceptable-traits in men. I was tired of so many things.

So then, a few posts ago I mentioned that I broke my own rule and met a guy for a Coke. He was nice, and I enjoyed our conversation... but I didn't feel like he was that interested. Five days later he invited me at the very last minute to come out on the boat with his family for the evening. This is not something I would normally do, but I had no kids at home and it suddenly sounded very fun to jump in my van and take off for the river.

Here I am, five days after that, feeling like I have met the man I am supposed to marry. I have never been treated this well. I have never felt this much love and compassion. I have never connected with someone on so many levels. Even when I met 'HIM', and I thought we connected so well, I see a totally different connection here.

I am a little bit terrified, since we are both about three months out of serious relationships. It just smacks of 'rebound' ... but I feel like I would know if that is what is happening... and I don't get that at all. We also both have kids who could get hurt in this... who have been hurt by our previous relationships. Next weekend NG will officially meet the kids. He will also meet my mom and go to church with us.

I will probably write a whole post soon on what I believe love is... but I can tell you now that I love NG and his kids. This was an amazing weekend and I can't wait to spend many more with them...

"Love is a verb, It ain't a thing

It's not something you own, It's not something you scream

When you show me love, I don't need your words

Yeah, love ain't a thing, Love is a verb

Love ain't a thing, Love is a verb"

-John Mayer "Love is a Verb"

Day 16- Oops

I wrote this last night, but didn't hit post...

(but on a second look I noticed it still posted yesterday's date.. so nevermind. lol)

It hit me today that not only have I gone over 72 hours without bothering about HIM, I have even gone that long without really wanting to talk to him.

I realized today that I need to work harder at some of my goals. I like the diet, but the working out hasn't been top of my list.

Just buying pizza "this one more time" instead of going to the store isn't good enough. Just taking a nap when I know I need to go for a bike ride or do a work out game on the kinect is not going to cut it.

I want to say this too... I have complete faith that God is the reason I will be able to make these changes and make this move and do the things that I need to do over the next year. However, there are two parts of that statement that don't quite go far enough. First, I will be making the changes with His help... but it will still take effort and energy on my part. Secondly, I am relying on prayer... it is an important part of what is happening here.

I fully believe that giving credit to God is an important part of being successful.

Day 14- My House

When I moved to the house I am in now, I was in a tight spot. I had to get out of the house I had been in. The first time I saw this house I loved it. I just knew that it was the house that God had planned for us.

Everyday I would drive to this house and pull in the driveway and pray for this house. I told God that I didn't know how he was going to do it, but I knew that this was our house and I was so excited to see what he was going to do for us.

One day, after some vandalism to the driveway of the house, the owner dropped the price by another $5,000. I knew it was time. I made the best offer I could, knowing that is was absolutely ridiculous. $500 down and $300 per month until I could get a real loan from a bank. I had no idea if the owner would sell it on contract or not. Praise the Lord, she did.

Now, here I am, almost five years later and I am getting ready to put my faith in God the same way again. We are moving.

I have such a peace about the move... even though I threw a fit for about the first 6 hours even when I knew it was what we were supposed to do. I even blamed a lot of people for making me uproot my life and move all of us an hour away. But by later that night and through church the next morning I just felt the peace that I needed about the move.

So, besides all of the other goals I have listed for the year (that I will update you on tomorrow) my life is about to be turned upside down by trying to find a new house, in a good neighborhood, with good schools.

Once again, I CAN'T WAIT to see what God is going to do for us now!

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On the upside, when it comes time to start dating again... there will be a whole new pool of men to choose from.

Day 9- Banana Smoothie and a Tornado

Carb-Lover's Breakfast - Banana Smoothie

1 banana worth of frozen banana slices

(green frozen bananas have the most benefit)

6oz of 1% milk.

Put them in a blender and blend until smooth.

As someone who is not a great cook and likes to stick to the basic things I have in my cupboards, I think there is a lack of Carb-Lover recipes that don't require me to run out and buy a bunch of stuff I I've never bought before. Seriously, I bought actual sweet potatoes for the first time this week. Now I'm going to have to figure out how to trick my kids into eating them.

As I find more simple yummy stuff... I will share on the blog.

As for the tornado... that is metaphorical. The aftermath of the tornado being my house today. Was it clean yesterday? No. But did it look like this? No. It was caused by the children in my house today. One of them not mine, two of them boys, things flying across rooms, trash being left everywhere, some occasional yelling on my part...

The children all go away this weekend and I am so looking forward to being able to clean without them underfoot. I know of course that I won't get through half of what I want to get through, but I will take some time for myself and ultimately be pleased with my weekend when it is over.

If I haven't mentioned it before, I am a freelance writer. I noticed not too long ago that I have been so involved in raising children and writing for other people, that I have not written for myself for a long time.

I'm sure this first few weeks will probably be a bit boring until I hit a stride and find my own voice again. You would be shocked to know (as if anyone is reading) that on a regular basis, people tell me I am hilarious.

P.S. I just had another banana smoothie as a late night snack. Awesome. :-)

In looking for a quote to end this post with I found the next one. I love my family dearly, but I am betting that Nancie J. Carmody had a husband, 2.3 children, and a cute little house on the good end of town...

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I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.... I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. ~Nancie J. Carmody