Day 22- Tattletale Tuesday

Oh no! It is that time again!

(No not THAT time... I won't ever announce that on my blog. I promise.)

It's Tuesday, where I tell you how I am coming on my goals.

HIM- I basically left him alone. There was one email asking if I had left my swimsuit over there at his house. He said no and I left him alone after that. Oh, and the day he added me back on one of the messenger programs. I waited a day and said "Did you add me back on for a reason?" He denied adding me back on and told me he would block me right then and he did.

My diet- I really just need to eat better... and I'm not doing a good job.

My exercise- I did ride my bike a little bit... but not nearly enough.

My weight- up 3 lbs.

Money- If I can just get more work done, I will do okay. Right now I am treading water... not what I intended to do.

I did manage to do a great job getting some housework done this week with the kids gone. It is such good motivation to get a job done and be satisfied with it. It makes me want to do more.

"You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential." - Steve Garvey

Day 16- Oops

I wrote this last night, but didn't hit post...

(but on a second look I noticed it still posted yesterday's date.. so nevermind. lol)

It hit me today that not only have I gone over 72 hours without bothering about HIM, I have even gone that long without really wanting to talk to him.

I realized today that I need to work harder at some of my goals. I like the diet, but the working out hasn't been top of my list.

Just buying pizza "this one more time" instead of going to the store isn't good enough. Just taking a nap when I know I need to go for a bike ride or do a work out game on the kinect is not going to cut it.

I want to say this too... I have complete faith that God is the reason I will be able to make these changes and make this move and do the things that I need to do over the next year. However, there are two parts of that statement that don't quite go far enough. First, I will be making the changes with His help... but it will still take effort and energy on my part. Secondly, I am relying on prayer... it is an important part of what is happening here.

I fully believe that giving credit to God is an important part of being successful.

Day 15- Tattle-tale Tuesday

So, here is my weekly update. You want to know how I'm doing on all of my goals, right?

My weight is basically the same. I know why that is, but it is still frustrating. I have not been doing my 30 minutes of exercise a day. I have tried several times, but was shut down one way or another. Okay, that isn't completely true. All of those times it was the person I was supposed to go with who canceled on me... I could have gone on my own... but I didn't.

I was lax in finding myself some new recipes... but I have had a lot of banana smoothies and apple oatmeal cereal.

I am not in less debt today than I was last week. I am probably in more. Barely, but more none the less.

Talking to HIM. I don't know why it is that on the days that I am dealing with something big in my life, he is the one I want to turn to. So, I emailed him a few times. The last time was an apology for the few times before. I haven't contacted him about 'us' in almost 48 hours.

So, once again, the goal is no talking to him this week. 7 days. I can do that.

Once again I have stood my ground against men who wanted to get together.

No money has come in the last week, but tomorrow I will pay my tithes.

Today I have:

Turned down two guys who think "hey sexy" is an appropriate, respectful way to say hello to a stranger.

worked on some cleaning

worked on some writing

written this blog!

made a plan to look at some houses in the new town.

called storage places

Today I will:

Get my 30 minutes of movement in.

Spend 30 minutes cleaning the garage.

Make a healthy dinner

Fold laundry

I love this comic:

Change the fabric of your own soul and your own visions, and you change all.
~Vachel Lindsay~

Day 9- Banana Smoothie and a Tornado

Carb-Lover's Breakfast - Banana Smoothie

1 banana worth of frozen banana slices

(green frozen bananas have the most benefit)

6oz of 1% milk.

Put them in a blender and blend until smooth.

As someone who is not a great cook and likes to stick to the basic things I have in my cupboards, I think there is a lack of Carb-Lover recipes that don't require me to run out and buy a bunch of stuff I I've never bought before. Seriously, I bought actual sweet potatoes for the first time this week. Now I'm going to have to figure out how to trick my kids into eating them.

As I find more simple yummy stuff... I will share on the blog.

As for the tornado... that is metaphorical. The aftermath of the tornado being my house today. Was it clean yesterday? No. But did it look like this? No. It was caused by the children in my house today. One of them not mine, two of them boys, things flying across rooms, trash being left everywhere, some occasional yelling on my part...

The children all go away this weekend and I am so looking forward to being able to clean without them underfoot. I know of course that I won't get through half of what I want to get through, but I will take some time for myself and ultimately be pleased with my weekend when it is over.

If I haven't mentioned it before, I am a freelance writer. I noticed not too long ago that I have been so involved in raising children and writing for other people, that I have not written for myself for a long time.

I'm sure this first few weeks will probably be a bit boring until I hit a stride and find my own voice again. You would be shocked to know (as if anyone is reading) that on a regular basis, people tell me I am hilarious.

P.S. I just had another banana smoothie as a late night snack. Awesome. :-)

In looking for a quote to end this post with I found the next one. I love my family dearly, but I am betting that Nancie J. Carmody had a husband, 2.3 children, and a cute little house on the good end of town...

~~~~~~~~~~~

I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.... I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. ~Nancie J. Carmody

Day 4- Harder than I thought

Yesterday I sent HIM a message to have a good day at work right before I knew he would leave. Why? I don't know.

Yesterday my new pots and pans finally came via UPS. I got a great deal on the set ($150) but I felt too guilty to even take them out of the box yet. I will later.

What else did I do? Well, after blogging about my spending habits and my debts, I went out and got a pedicure a bought some stuff at Goodwill (A brand new $170 juicer for $20).

Also, after blogging about needing to lose weight I sat down to eat tortilla chips... too many of them.

Lastly, after saying that I think I need to spend some time being single a guy that has been texting me wants me to meet him and go out on a date. Do I think he is 'the one'? Nope. But do I give him the benefit of the doubt, or am I just setting myself back a few months in the case that it takes that long for us to decide we won't work out?

Do I compromise because he might keep me from being lonely for awhile? I can't.

I think it is a bad idea... and really unfair to him.

A good friend of mine commented today that I am clearly not over the breakup from February yet. I am still in love with HIM. I thought he was the one. But I have to accept the facts, right? Even as I type this I have a hope in the back of mind and the bottom of my heart, that he will come back to me in some form. As a friend, a lover, a boyfriend, a fiance, a husband... in some form? Hell, I want all of him back... but I have to let go... right?

I don't want to cling to a hope if God has a different plan for my life. I would hate to spend so much time staring wistfully at HIM and hoping he is 'the one' that I miss the REAL 'the one'... if 'the one' exists at all.

"The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not the turbulence;

it is to act with yesterday’s logic."

— Peter Drucker