Day 36- Love vs Logic

A Beautiful Mind is in my top five movies of all time. I love it for a million different reasons. I especially love this quote...

"What truly is logic? Who decides reason? My quest has taken me to the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional, and back. I have made the most important discovery of my career - the most important discovery of my life. It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reason can be found." -Nash

NG very openly tells me that he loves me. It is something I'm not used to. I told him that OG ("Old Guy" formerly known as HIM -Thanks Kyla-) took an entire year to tell me he loved me. NG just said "Well I'm a lot smarter than him." It made me smile.

NG wants us to move in. We've been here for four nights in a row now and have two more before we head home for a night. And while there typically would be no hurry to do so, school starts in a few weeks and the question is decided by where I enroll the children. They love it here. I think they want to live here. I know I could be happy here. We have discussed how the whole thing of combining incomes can work for both of us. I have seen how the whole thing of combining households is working for us. Everything seems to be going really great.

In fact, part of me wonders what I am so worried about. When I started this blog, I was doing so to write myself through the next year of changes in my life. Now, changes are coming as fast as can be and I'm the one that is slightly freaking out.... isn't this what I wanted? Honestly, some of my friends and family are freaking out too. They are telling me it is too soon. They are telling me to slow down.

So, do I listen to their logic and reason (for many of them it hasn't worked out in their own lives?) Maybe I should listen to my own logic and reason... but you can see where that got me before. Or maybe, this time, I should throw caution to the wind and see what happens.

I think we have a great chance of surviving. I haven't looked at my list recently, but NG has nearly every quality on it...If it was just me, I would have done it already. I would be living here and pitching in and making this home. But I'm very worried about what would happen to the kids if this didn't work out.

When the last few times a relationship didn't work out for me, I tumbled into a pit of despair. Looking back, I can see how things worked out... but I can never see that when I'm actually in the pit. I hate that pit and I don't ever want to be there again. It wasn't good for the kids. They acted out. They were angry. OG was downright cruel to them when he left me, and it was hard for them to figure out how someone who says he loves them can act like that.

Then again, NG and I compliment each other. I can see us doing great things together. We have lots of similar ideas. Now, money is not the most important thing, of course... but with his technical knowledge and my creativity, I see us building a comfortable life for ourselves. You know, the second person in a couple is called the "other half" for a reason... because we make each other better people... a whole person...

Imagine what might have happened without this better half...

Thank you for continuing to listen to the drama that is my life! I will catch up on some blog posts later. His kids are great, but having SIX of them home at the same time is never easy. I do love them though! They are awesome kids. I think my kids will learn a lot from them and they were learn a few things from my kids.