My 365 day journey from single to forever... not a catalog of dates and internet idiots...
looking inside myself to make the changes I need to make to become a better person.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Day 1 - What am I doing here?


I have always believed that everyone who is single "again" for any reason stays so because there is something "wrong" with them. The trick, when finding the person who is right for us, is to try to find the person whose "wrongness" we can live with and one who will do the same for us. I even thought that true love meant some of our wrongs would balance each other's out.

In a twisted way, I could even see the thought at a romantic one:

"I hate the way she bites her nails, but everything else that is great about her outweighs that!"

I mean, I want a man who overlooks my faults, right? And I'll overlook his?

"I hate the way he leaves the television on 24/7, but everything else awesome about him makes that inconsequential!"

But where does that kind of thinking end? Is it really a romantic notion to, before I have even met a man, decide that there are some faults that I can live with? It can be a slippery slope, can't it? Which of these should I have drawn the line at in the past?


"I'm pretty sure he is a pathological liar, but either he is so good at it that I can't find proof or I am wrong. Well, I'm not perfect either and I did say 'until death do us part'."

"He drinks A LOT. Every day. But he is generally a happy person who is helpful and fun to be around. There are so many things that I love about him... I'm sure I could handle the drinking knowing that I have such a great guy around all the time."

"He is so unforgiving of everyone around him and blind to his own faults. He is a good, stable provider though, and I do love him a lot. Besides, I'm sure I'll never do anything so terrible as to be on the other end of his unforgiveness."

"He scares me when he is angry, but I'm sure he wouldn't try to get
rough like that again. I shouldn't have pushed his buttons. He really does love
me and I'm sure that he just wants what is best for our family."

"Yeah, he has cheated on every woman he has ever been married to. No he never calls me. No, he's never there. Yes, this is his fourth marriage, but I'm sure this one will work out. At least he found one older than me this time... besides, he's my dad. As long as he loves me he can probably get away with anything and I'll still claim him."


Yeah, those were all real situations. Each one was a different man. It took me a long journey of messed-up relationships to get where I am today. If I want to make sure that my girls do not have a bad example to live by as they grow up, then I need to start the journey back to being the person I was meant to be.

I hope you feel like coming along for the ride. It is bound to be interesting.


"You may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince...
but there is no need to kiss any pigs, dogs or jackasses!" -www.princecharming.net

4 comments:

  1. LOL. I LOVE the caption at the end. That is something I'll have to remember.

    Nice post, by the way. I hope you find the right guy for you. Even if I don't completely agree with you about the love thing. But I do see why you'd come to that conclusion (Yikes! Those examples were scary!).

    Have a great day and I hope you become the person you want to be!

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