The break-up was bogus. I texted an ex who had been a friend several times (4 months before the day of the break-up and not again since) after being forbidden to do so by the then-current bf. Yes, forbidden. There are so many things I could say here... but to go through it all makes no sense. We disagreed on where the line should be with this ex... and in the end it was cited as the reason I was "let go." We won't even get into the part where he got into my online phone records to check that information...
To be honest, I was not happy. I felt like something was wrong. The things that he used to love about me had become things he would complain to me about. Quick, witty jokes, and sometimes even 12-yr-old-boy-ish humor... "Hehe, that guy on TV just asked that girl to hold his balls." (Some sort of sports ball I'm sure... but it made me laugh!) He used to love my cuddling. He used to love my writing. Things were going south and I had no idea how to stop it from happening.
Things I expected him to do as a boyfriend, he never did. He worked second shift, which is very hard for a family to deal with... and he said he would probably never change it for us. He hated helping me with projects at my house. A badly-wired light switch sat for four years and he never fixed it... he was an electrician.
I did love him. He was smart and funny. He had so many of the qualities I wanted in a husband. He was tall and handsome. He was a good singer, and I didn't even care that he was a bad cook. Everything that I wanted to love about him, I did. Everything I wanted to forget, I did. I was under the impression that he would be proposing soon... and looking back now I think I would have done anything for that ring..... but he kept pushing me farther and farther away and only became annoyed if I asked questions. Still, I love him.
In the four months since we have been broken up, the longest I have gone without calling, texting, or emailing him is 15 days. If I find a reason to talk to him, I instantly think of 15 more things I need to tell him.
He refuses to see me or the children. My kids are all missing him too. The teen is angry about the way he left... especially because just days before he had talked to her about us living in his house someday. My son cried for 2 minutes and wouldn't let me hug him when it happened... now he won't say the bf's name. The younger ones miss him a lot. They ask if they can go visit, and I have to tell them no.
If love is a choice, a verb, an action word, then why would I love someone who chooses not to love us anymore?
So, here we go. Day 2... I'm going to quit bothering him for good. I deserve to be treated better than this, right? Say some prayers. It won't be easy.
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better
to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
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